Memories of Noah Gibbs

"I met noah while searching for projects to work on.

He was the most welcoming and encouraging person I've ever known. and my first mentor for Google Summer of code but I'd say he mentored me outside of it as well I've never seen any other individual who is as passionate as him with work even in community works and meetings.Looking back I wouldn't have gotten here if he had not helped me initially with all those things.Whatever the situation be life or tech , he always had good advice

And the way he explains stuff is genius , I don't have a degree and he was the first person to treat me equally with everyone (in my country u need a degree to get job)

I will miss him forever, I always loved the small talk we used to have.idk if anyone who is reading this will believe me or not but he is my role model of how I should be.I wish i spent more time with him."

From Krissy:

I should say this publicly. The domain for Rebuilding Rails just came up for renewal and I kept it for now. Folks are buying stuff at a really rapid rate, possibly because they know they are running out of time.

I am not a programmer. I am not capable of maintaining his websites and keeping his stuff out for sale in a permanent and ongoing way. I don't know how and after living in Silicon Valley for 30 years I can promise you that I *don't want to learn*. At some point either someone will have to help or the websites will come down. He has a whole bunch of them.

I can't even figure out where he put the sound files for the stories he recorded in December.

I am very much feeling like my brain won't be able to learn new stuff for a while. I am auto piloting through basic survival tasks and that's what I've got right now.

So if you have been waiting for the right time to buy his stuff, I can't offer you a discount. I don't know how. At this point there is what there is and we get no more from him in this life. It is crushing me to live with this.

I'm sorry you all are losing him. I'm even more sorry for my kids and for myself.

A message:

Hi Krissy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Noah directly, but have watched many of his talks and read both his "rebuilding" books which were really helpful to me, I loved that way of teaching through rebuilding software.I saw that you were publishing the stories on his Facebook profile, and took the liberty of collecting the published stories on a page dedicated to him, at https://noah-gibbs-memories.com. Reading through all the entries is heartwarming and I wanted to contribute something as a tribute.The site is yours, feel free to share it (or not), and of course let me know if you want any additions/changes, or if you just want it deleted.

/Youssef

Thank you, Youssef. It is very kind of you.

"Ich hatte das Glück ihn in Bangkok zur Rubyconf '22 persönlich zu treffen. Ich fühlte mich als Debütanten-Speaker total fehl am Platze mit so vielen bekannten Gesichtern aus der Community, Noah aber fragte einfach, was ich mit Ruby verbinde und über was ich sprechen werde und hörte aufmerksam zu. Da war das Eis gebrochen! Das war für mich ein schöner Moment.

Sehr traurig, dass er nicht mehr da ist!

Ich hoffe, dass die Familie Trost und Halt findet."

"Noah was the first tech lead I ever worked with when I was doing a college internship in the south bay. Extremely smart guy, and is the reason I still develop with Ruby on Rails today. So sad to hear this."

"I don't have a specific memory as I was not fortunate enough to talk to or meet him. But his work has affected me greatly. I work with ruby on a daily basis and Noah has made it possible and enjoyable for me to make a living. Thank you Noah. May God bless you and your family."

"I’ve been a fan of Noah and his writing for many years. As another long-time Ruby developer and having seen many folks come and go in the community, it was always comforting and energizing to have his strong and consistent voice. His enthusiasm for Ruby seemed only to grow stronger throughout the years.

I finally got to meet Noah (remotely) a few years back when he invited me to chat on his "Computer Science: Just the Useful Bits" podcast. Our conversation meandered through a number of topics. I found him to be insightful, a great listener, and a warm spirit. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to speak with him and had hoped we might run into one another at a future Ruby conference.

I will miss him. My heart goes out to his family."

"I worked with Noah at Shopify, and even though we were not on the same team he accepted to pair with me on a refactoring problem and was super helpful and pleasant all the time."

"What sad news to hear. I hope his family and loved ones are doing ok.

We lost touch over the years, but I worked closely with Noah for a couple of years at Palm/PalmSource back in the early days of our careers. We shared a small office, dubbed the “habitrail”, with two other engineers as we all worked away bringing the Expansion/VFS Managers to life on PalmOS.

He was definitely one of my favorite coworkers, I loved talking to him about his random side projects, language theory, motorcycles, and any other number of other nerdy topics.

I pretty much always think of him when I go out for out for sushi. Eating sushi was still pretty new to me at the time, and he once took me to a great restaurant in San Francisco. Besides sharing some very fresh raw clams, he also ordered this incredibly monstrous roll with a ton of avocado. The pieces were so large that I didn’t really know what to do with it, but he shared with me his rule of ”one sushi, one bite!” This may have been the most challenging piece of sushi I ever ate, but I managed to follow his rule. To this day I still love sharing the rule with my friends whenever a surprisingly large piece of sushi comes to our table, and I still try my best to always follow it!"

"Hi, I am the founder of PaxMail and in the various tech lead roles I've had, I've always encouraged new ruby users to use "Rebuilding Rails" to get a real handle on ruby and rails. Your dad's contribution was quite valuable to the ruby community. May the peace of Christ be with you all."

"I was travelling to a Ruby event on a long train journey across the south of the UK. I picked a random seat and pulled out my laptop. I look up and see that the fellow opposite me had his laptop out, with Ruby stickers on it. We were going to the same event, and we chatted for the next hour and a half, and it was lovely. He was lovely. As an extreme introvert, it’s not easy to keep me engaged and chatty for so long, but he managed it with his passion and genuine interest in what I had to say. I only later realised that that man was Noah Gibbs."

"We interacted briefly maybe 10 years ago when I was a junior developer. I still remember Noah as being wicked smart and generous with his time and thoughts. Much love."

"Almost 13 years ago, I was a college student interning at Ooyala on Noah's team. I just remember how helpful, kind, down to earth he was for a clueless 20 year old. It was just a short summer, but it was so pivotal for my career, and I'm ever grateful."

"I have this photo with Noah in it. Of our school family. I'm the one in the shiny blue. I had classes with Ben, and was a thespian, and spent a lot of time hanging out at the Gibbs house. They didn't let me play D&D because my memory was so bad it slowed down the game. I remember their huge attic bedroom, and Noah LHAO when they explained how they'd realized the reason their dad was always so laid back was they'd found a gallon zip lock freezer bag of pot in his study. I had a meltdown when Noah graduated because he'd just upgraded the theater lighting and I was convinced no one else would ever be smart enough to operate them. I remember how the summer after he graduated he and a few friends lived at the Lake house and he let his beard grow out all mountain man-y. It was horrible. He thought it was hilarious. I don't know where the time went. There was supposed to be more of it. But this picture, this is how I have/will always see Noah in my head. The really tall, lanky, goofy, most brilliant person I ever knew, who was always laughing with a great big smile on his face."

"I've never met Noah, but a colleague and I went through his book, Rebuilding Rails, and we were often impressed by the thoughtfulness of his writing, and his clear care for his readers. Thank you, Noah!"

"Professionally, one of the things I remember about Noah was that he had a talent for telling you "there's a much better way to do what you're trying to do" in a code review without making you feel stupid or defensive about the choice you'd made.

Any code he touched ended up better, even if he just looked at it and made comments.

Personally, Noah was just a Good Person. Always pleasant to be around, always willing to say the right thing even if it was a controversial thing.

I haven't worked with him or seen him in several years but I'm going to miss him a lot. The world is a worse place without Noah in it."

"I only met Noah a few times when he worked at AppFolio but every time I chatted with him, his kindness, humbleness always impressed me and inspired me. I still remembered he had a doll attached to his backpack because of his children. Send my deepest condolences to Noah's family."

"Noah shared a lot of wisdom from a perspective in technology not many had, his passion for learning more and sharing inspired a lot of us to look deep and ask bigger questions."

""Who is this guy and what is with the stuffed animals?" I never met Noah, but his work continues to help me: valuable insight with a slice of fun, freely offered."

"HelloI am from France and doing some Ruby since 10 years. I've met Noah multiple times. I remember especially one time in Bristol at Cookpad office with some people from the Ruby core team Matz, Mame, Koichi. We had a long conversation about Ruby internals but also life, early retirement, country where to live. I was before a sound engineer an maybe it impacted me more than other but I have good memories of his voice and accent. I remember how he was welcoming, nice, helping you a lot even if you were a new comer. He was very different in the ecosystem. I will keep very good souvenirs of him and will try to follow is path as someone that is welcoming and nice. "

"I remember Noah always had a positive and cheerful way to talk to anyone. I met him a couple of times at different conferences and he was always kind and welcoming. I can’t believe he is no longer with us.

It was such a blessing to have him in our community. He will be deeply missed. "

"I've been familiar with Noah's work for pretty much as long as I've worked with Rails. I bought and read Rebuilding Rails when I was learning Rails back in 2020.

We first interacted on a call for the ScotRUG meetup where I was presenting a talk as a rehearsal for a couple of upcoming conference. Noah was incredibly encouraging and gave me some great feedback to polish off some rough edges.

We met for the first time at Brighton Ruby 2024, and once again he was incredibly generous with his time. We talked at length about open source work, and as a fellow technical e-book author, we discussed the value and economics of self publishing technical books. Once again, I learned so much in just a few minutes of chatting with him.

We met again at Haggis Ruby 2024 where I was a speaker. After my talk, Noah was the first person I sought out for feedback. We spoke at length about a number of things. I'll always remember him as unbelievably inspiring, positive, and energetic.

The Ruby community will miss him badly, as will I."

"I met Noah in 2011 when I started working at Ooyala. He was genuinely the most opinionated and friendly engineer I had ever met. He took me under his wing and taught me not only the secrets of Ruby, but also how to navigate the odd engineering culture that existed in Silicon Valley at that point. When we parted ways, he kept in touch and then recommended me to work with him at Daqri. We always had deep conversations whether around engineering or homeschooling, travel, Ruby (of course) or pizza from the Indian Pizza place around the corner.During Covid, Noah helped me navigate the homeschool curriculum so that I could take my kids around Europe and still keep them educated. He was always so proud of how his family worked and he clearly loved you all very deeply He was so proud about your trip to Scotland and while we lost touch again, his openness and willingness to help others out will always stay with me. He was a real force for good, and from our conversations was passionate about changing the engineering world for the better. He will be very deeply missed."

"I didn't interact with Noah all that much, but I remember attending a talk that he gave and feeling proud that I worked at the same company as he did. I was like "if a guy this capable is here, I must be in a good place." I'm so sorry for your loss."

"We worked in different departments, but every time we met at conferences or events, he was incredibly supportive and kind. He was one of those rare people who made you, as someone from a marginalized group, feel truly seen and valued.Learning from someone like Noah was an honor and a privilege. His kindness and allyship made such a difference, and his presence will be deeply missed."

"I am utterly shocked. Just a few months ago when I was unemployed he graciously held regular meetings with me a few others to help us keep in good spirits. I was honored to spend some time with him. I’m so sorry for your loss."

"Noah was by far the kindest man that I have ever met. We made a connection at a time when I really needed help and he, a stranger, offered a hand. I’ll carry those memories of his kindness with me always."

"I am very sad to hear about Noah passing. My name is Paul and I had the pleasure to hire and work with Noah at Appfolio. He had a brilliant technical mind, but more importantly he had a kind and warm soul. No matter what was going on with me, I always felt a little calmer and lighter after conversing with Noah. I appreciate that on a personal level and I appreciate his contributions to the Ruby community."

Noah's funeral will be at William T Fraser's on the 14th of January at 3pm London time zone. There will be a livestream link posted. Anyone who is local who would like to attend is welcome.

I think it is psychologically useful for my kids to see that people here have grown to care for us. Yes, you are welcome to come. Please don't stay away because you are afraid to impose or bother us.

-Krissy

"I first met Noah at the Highland Web Group and subsequently also saw him in a Ruby conference. Noah had a kind and generous soul; he was always eagerly sharing his knowledge with others. He was also a great teacher, rarely there is someone who can explain complex concept in such simple terms.

He contributed to the Ruby community way beyond just technical knowledge and improvement, but also as a role model to others in the community.

Rest in peace Noah."

"My recollection of Noah is of a kind generous man who contributed tirelessly to the things he believed in.

I first encountered Noah after I gave a conference talk calling for better benchmarks in the Ruby community. At the time I was working on a doomed Ruby JIT compiler.

After that talk, Noah would go on the build Rails Ruby Bench. We corresponded a bit about it, and I started keeping track of his writing on the internet.

Eventually I moved on from Ruby. Still, I kept track of Noah, and would read his writing when I came across it. He clearly was someone who thought deeply about the nature of building software, and what it was to be employed in this industry that demanded production from something that from the inside felt more like craft.

You could see his commitment to community and mentorship in the things he wrote about, the podcasts he took, etc.

Recently I had occasion to reach out to Noah again; I was thinking about a career change and perhaps returning to Ruby. Knowing that Noah was an alumnus of the YJIT group at Shopify I reached out. My email started “Hey Noah, I don’t know if you remember me” — I was truly gratified that his reply started “Hiya, Matt! Yes, I remember you. :-)” — then he generously answered my questions, fully in the spirit intended.

I had always hoped to run into Noah again, to cross paths with him. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope this message helps in the tiniest bit to illuminate more of the ways in which Noah touched people, all over the world.

— Matthew Gaudet, Edmonton, Canada"

"I am truly sorry he passed away and left what must be a big hole behind for his family. I knew Noah from working with him in person at DAQRI in Sunnyvale and admired both his first-rate mind and his unfailing kindness. That makes me one of the ones lucky enough to have gotten to know how generous he was as a person. I was glad to see him make a real name for himself working in the Ruby community afterwards which looked as though it was a really fulfilling calling for him. I won't be forgetting about him, of this I am sure."

"I haven’t seen Noah since high school. I had classes with him throughout those years so I remember him vividly. To this day, he is still in the top 5 of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met - a walking, talking encyclopedia. Amazing! In a time when Google didn’t exist, having classes with someone who seemed to know everything about everything was pretty cool. I don’t think I appreciated the depth of his knowledge until I was older.

May every beautiful memory stay close to your hearts. Continued prayers for you and your family and friends."

"I woke up this morning to receive the news, among others, that Noah Gibbs had passed away. It was a sudden and unexpected loss, and one that I feel deeply. Let me tell you about the man who was Noah Gibbs, and what he meant not only to me, but to an entire generation of Ruby developers.You Are Welcome Here

I grew up in a world where I was often told to be quiet, to keep to myself, to not bother others and to just be normal. I lived a life of silence and isolation that took years to escape from, even with the help of several friends I met in the Ruby community.

I was alone.

When I was first invited to speak at Southeast Ruby I felt like I was finally accepted, that I had finally managed to be recognized for the things I loved and cared about, and I went there with a good amount of fear that maybe they'd see what everyone else did growing up, and maybe I would not be welcome.

Enter a teddybear of a man, Noah, warm and talking to everyone, who checked in on me as a new speaker and who took a legitimate interest in what I had to say. He was kind, patient, always smiling and always trying to draw out that next idea with an insightful question or a quick quip.

A man I felt had shared some of that deep loneliness, and could understand. A man who chose to turn that into a welcome for anyone who came through those doors.Everyone is Welcome Here

Over the next several years I got to know Noah better. What he had given to me in that first meeting, that welcome, was something he did for everyone. He would always be there in any corner and any group asking questions.

If you knew no one at a conference you knew Noah, and he'd make sure of it every time.

Noah was a friend to everyone.A Wise Mentor

But Noah never stopped at a welcome, no, he was a guide and a mentor for generations of Ruby engineers, myself included. He would always make time to answer questions, to talk people through tough career decisions, and to just make sure they were ok.

He always had time for folks who were in need.

He would even take time to walk through his book and provide discounts for those who could not afford it, if not outright give free copies, to help people level up and grow.A Kind Man

Noah lived a life of teaching, mentorship, and welcome. He was a kind man, he was loved, and he made a difference in an entire generation of Ruby programmers who came to find acceptance through the community in no small part from his contributions to it.A Man I Hope to Be One Day

The highest praise I can give is that Noah is the type of man I want to become in the future. A kind man who always has time for others, who supports those in need, who encourages and builds communities, and who always welcomes.

Noah was a good man, and I will dearly miss him."

"Hi, my name is Nicky and I am member of the London and Brighton Ruby communities. I met Noah on the morning of Brighton Ruby Conference 2023. I was staying at the My Hotel closest to the conference venue and when I came down for breakfast that morning there was only one table left, next to a man sitting on his own, who turned out to be Noah. He asked if I was going to the conference. We struck up a conversation, I had no idea who he was, except that we were attending the same conference, but we got to talking about speaking and talks and shared our ideas with each other, and then of course he turned up on stage later that day and gave a brilliant talk.

That morning over breakfast Noah very kindly gave me some great speaking and talk writing advice, and was happy to chat through a talk idea I had - which I then wrote with some of our shared ideas in mind, and gave at Brighton Ruby the following year. So I owe part of that talk to him too. I'm very sorry for your loss, and very grateful for his words that morning and all of his work."

"Noah was a huge part of the Ruby community and I will miss him."

"I knew Noah in college and always enjoyed conversations with him because he always had something intelligent to say and such a gentle, soothing way of saying it. But my most vivid memory of him is when he read the first chapter of Bridge of Birds to a group of us, funny voices and all. I still hear it in his voice when I reread it."

"He was always very friendly and respectful to his colleagues. I was not close to him, but I appreciated how friendly he was every time we were together. He always seemed to have a great deal of curiosity about what was going on around him."

"I didn't know Noah a hugely long time but the thing that stood out the most with him was his genuineness. He was an easy person to like, with his willing laugh, silly jokes complete with voices and non confrontational demeanour. He was always ready to offer a hug if needed, there was no doubt he absolutely loved and adored his family, his family meant the world to him, but that love didn't stop there. He truly had buckets full of love for everyone that deserved it. He welcomed us in to his home with open arms, chatted to me for ages over nothing and always had a rationale that was so consistent. He had a head full of information, most way above my head but he was able to explain something without making me feel like an idiot.I found him an intelligent, loving and caring person with a very accurate sense of self and those around him. He will be genuinely missed in this house, men like him are hard to come by. I feel so grateful to have known him and those he cared about, I'm also grateful to have been included in that list. The world has lost a genuinely good person and my heart breaks for his family's massive loss."

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I was always happy to talk to Noah, and I'm shocked at this.

I knew Noah from CMU. We were friendly, with close friends in common, but I can't remember the social graph anymore. I have nothing but fond, fuzzy memories. I think Noah was a year ahead of me.

I do have one story.

I was headed back to the dorms and there was a guy with a full-scale cross on his shoulder, made of 4x4s, maybe even thicker. In the other hand was a Bible. He was proselytizing, but the only phrase I remember was "You're all a bunch of spoiled little rich kids!"

I was headed to the dorm. On my way I saw Noah going the other way, with a copy of the Satanic Bible, to talk to the guy. A dialog.

I wonder what they talked about, the cross guy's worst nightmare walking up to say hello, Noah just trying to offer the guy a sense of perspective and confusion.

(It's possible I'm misremembering this entirely, but ... I'm pretty sure. In my still fuzzy memory, I think Noah was coming from Donner, which someone else has corroborated.)

Thank you for the kindness that you've shown me and my kids."

"I had the luck and fortune to become a friend with Noah back in 2018. He was a great mentor for me as I tried to get into the tech world.

I still remember the shock and joy when a new computer showed up on my trailer house doorstep.

I was working on a literally buggy old Linux machine, and constantly fighting to keep the thing running.

The conversations, the advice he gave me, the computer. It was invaluable in lifting me out of my situation and into my first tech job. He really made me believe I could do it. Which I needed most of all.

He was an absolute treasure.This world is a lesser place without him."

"We were at a conference. I don't even remember which one. But he sought me out, when I was a mid-career (?) engineer, and we had dinner one night at one of the hotel restaurants. It's been a few years, but I can still remember the restaurant, being perched up on some stools at a table, as Noah talked as if I understood all he was saying, technically. I couldn't, but I could follow enough. It gave me something to aspire to be able to understand our conversations better! He talked about his family and how important his kids and wife were. And I talked, too. What did I say? I don't know. But I remember Noah listening--looking at me and listening.

To have someone in the tech community want to make time for me at a conference, share a whole meal with me--well, I felt included and valuable. I was not up to his technical know-how, but I was glad to be included in and worth conversing with, and moreover, on any level, it was a privilege to be heard and seen by him. To feel present. How many meals or conversations at tech conferences do any of us truly remember? Especially if you're anything like I was in those days, attending so very many of them. But I remember that one. I'm surprised by how vivid I remember being there, but Noah was very good at helping a person feel present."

"I worked with Noah at OnLive. It was my first job back as a programmer after taking off 10 years to raise my kids. I had a basic knowledge of Ruby when I started. Noah’s support and encouragement really helped my improve not only my skills but my confidence which led me on the path to really be able to re launch my career. He was not only kind and supportive but became a really good friend. As I got to know him more over the years I was so impressed with his dedication to his family, too. I am so sorry to hear of his passing"

"When I first began learning Rails, I faced significant challenges due to the “magic” inherent in the framework. However, I discovered Rebuilding Rails by Noah Gibbs, which profoundly transformed my understanding of Rails.

The book’s step-by-step guide in constructing a miniature version of Rails provided me with a comprehensive grasp of the framework’s underlying principles. Moreover, Mr. Gibbs’s unexpected generosity in offering me a discount, even without my request, left me deeply touched.

In light of these events, I extend my deepest condolences to Noah Gibbs and his family. May his kind and gentle spirit find eternal peace."

"I’ve had the honour of being interviewed by Noah during an episode of his podcast. He was so kind and nice and made me feel so important and gave me a lot of confidence. I also met him during one of the Brighton Ruby conferences and had a wonderful chat. He inspired a lot of people like myself, the average Joe developer, to keep on doing what we love. I’ll miss him terribly."

Not long ago a coworker that Noah respected very much took his own life. Noah wrote this afterwards.

"We are so, so afraid of saying we are friends. All of us. The little tentative reach-outs to me (and there should be more *by* me) - they don't dare to assume friendship.

We are so afraid of saying we are friends.

I have my immediate family -- my wife, my children, who I spend all day every day with. And yes, you wonderful people out there are not them.

But I do like you, and -- as much as I can understand, as much as I can -- I do love you. You're my community. I don't talk to extended family much, and I appreciate you all more than I can say. Programming is fine, and it's nice to have a shared hobby. But you're good people, and you'd be good people if it was golf or flying model airplanes are whatever other people who aren't obsessed with computers do.

I'm not sure I dare talk about this in public because his family, VERY understandably, didn't want the details batted around. But that little thank-you note he sent, sincere but flippant, to say "I'm all done, but thank you for working with me, and for doing the thing I was doing, and helping with my life work."

That thank-you note *hurt*, once I understood what it was. I didn't understand why at first. In a darker world where I went the same way, I could imagine doing something like it. "I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but you helped me, I'm so sorry I wasted all of your time being me instead of becoming something great."

I can imagine that. It's not even hard.

And then I thought about C-'s daughter, who I never met, and I'd start to seize up.

Before I could cry for C-, I cried for his daughter, about whom I know so very little. But I know she's his daughter, and right now that's enough. We have all lost a lot by losing C-, and half the time I feel ashamed to even say so, because she has lost so, so much more.

I thought of the thank-you note, thanking everybody who had worked on TR. And then I thought of his daughter. And then I cried, and at first I didn't even know why. Why was *that* what hurt so much?

And of course, it hurt because it was so familiar.

Because I could imagine it.

Because I could feel the "thank you" that was "I'm sorry for not being enough, I'm sorry for not being strong enough, I'm sorry for not going onward, I'm sorry for..."

For being.

I'm sorry I'm me. You all deserve better.

It was so, so familiar.

I don't know C- closely. I like to think felt some fondness in my direction. C- didn't seem like a man who asked for help easily. But when he was feeling vulnerable and needed help practicing interviewing, he came to me.

I felt like an ass saying that to my coworkers. Like I was showing off: look, this brilliant man came to me, clearly I'm awesome.

I didn't mean it that way.

C- squared his shoulders against the world and stood against it. It's easy to imagine him a soldier (which he was), and he looked very, very at home in uniform. "Regimented" is the word U- used for him. Yes, that.

I don't know C-, not really. I imagine not many people did. But I got to see him show a little bit of need, and a little bit of vulnerability, and I think, perhaps, that meant he saw something good in me. He was willing to ask me for help.

That's what it would have meant, if I'd done the same thing.

Maybe not. C- was a hard man to read, and maybe I'm just using that as a mirror.

But if I saw anything true there, that chirpy little thank-you note, that "I'm done, but know that I appreciate you all" flippant tone... If I had said it, it would have been because I don't like myself much, not really, not at heart, and a brave tone means it's not all of your problem.

If I said it. And I would. That's what it would mean.

And then I think of his daughter. And I cry. And now that I see why, I cry for C-, too.

*Now* I can.

I think, looking in the mirror of his beautiful stoicism and restraint, that he was making himself not our problem, as much as he could. And eventually, he was done. Needed a permanent break, he said.

Everybody I saw mention that understood: take as much rest as you need, friend. Life is hard. And clearly, your life was hard. We don't have much to ease your life, but we can be understanding when you need to rest.

We mean well, when we say it.

And saying "we" is a dodge, of course.

*I* mean well, when I say it.

Life is hard. Life is so, so hard. C-'s life was clearly hard, and he handled it by pushing through. I can't tell you how much I sympathise. And I suspect he didn't like himself very much, at heart. That's why I do that.

I was afraid -- terrified, really -- that I wouldn't love my children, before I had them. And that surprises people to hear. Why would I be afraid of that?

Because I don't like me, mostly. I was so afraid that, because I didn't like myself, that I'd feel apathetic and cold toward my children, as though they were me.

I don't. I love them until my heart could burst. I love them like I love my wife, utterly and to distraction.

I will not voluntarily take that sort of rest, not any decade soon and probably not ever. I owe everything to my children, and to my wife. And I know them too well to think that they'd be better off without me.

I know the cold, ugly thoughts that whisper that. But I know never to trust myself so much as to believe them. No. My children would never recover from me dying young.

I think of C-'s daughter, and I cry. And then I think of C-, and I cry.

Life is so hard. And we pull away from each other, to not hurt the people we like better than ourselves.

Of course C- was patient and understanding and respectful of everyone. I really think he *liked* all of you, in the same somewhat-distant way I hope he liked me.

It's easy to be nice to you. You're not me. It's easy to be understanding of your limits. You're not me.

I don't think I have a moral or a conclusion. I'm just writing. And I know you'd all tell me I'm likeable. Well, okay, a high percentage of you would. You know what I mean.

We certainly all had many and glowing things to say about C-. He deserved them. I want to say, "if only he'd heard them sooner." I don't think that's actually true. But it's probably the healthiest thing I can think.

The truth is that we're all here in a dark, cold, hard world, and we don't really control any of this.

I understand why everybody is reaching out, all around, as the dust settles. I'm reaching out too, as much as I can right now. Mostly I'm far too busy, which is its own kind of small, terrible comfort.

Like C-, I cope with the horror of the world by soldiering on.

But mostly, when I can stop and think and feel about this, mostly I think of C-'s daughter, and I cry."

"I only had one short conversation with Noah, but it was very meaningful. This spring I was short on work for the first time in years. I guess Noah was also looking and in an online chatroom he was kind enough to share a job seekers network and support group with me. My participation with that group was a big part of getting my career back on track, and it wouldn't have happened without his tip. Thank you Noah, your memory is a blessing."

"Noah always listened to and talked so nicely to anyone. I remember talking a lot before the move to Scotland ( where I had just moved from... ). He will be dearly missed. Much love to all."

"I met Noah when he was working in the bay area. He was kind and very generous person. He was very knowledgeable in technology. I was amazed by his depth of his knowledge in Ruby. I was the Ruby meetup organizer and he helped me with the location and also was a speaker. After he moved out of US. I tried to reach out for him. Unfortunately I was not able to connect with him after he moved. It is very difficult for someone to fill in his role in our Ruby community. He also spoke in Ruby meetup held in Google office in Mountain View, California. He had so much passion for his work. I cannot express how sad I am to see a great person like him is no longer with us."

"Oh man this is a real kick in the teeth. I wouldn’t say I knew Noah well, but I spoke to him a few times on his Rebuild Rails Slack and he was always helpful, informed and a true gent. What a loss. Thoughts and prayers to his family "

"Noah was a mentor to me early in my Ruby journey and was a wise, funny, patient and understanding man. Always happy to chat and make time when I really needed some guideance - especially got the challanges of working around a young family.

I am shocked to hear this.

All my condolences and very best wishes to his family."

"Sad news. He was such a kind guy. From my country I was not able to pay for his books and I emailed him about this and he just gave me all of them for free.

Such a kind and generous person he was.

RIP"

"This is so sad to hear.

I bought the rebuilding rails book and in a previous job I was put into a position higher then I was expecting. I had applied to be a dev but turned out my role was basically tech lead. I dunno how but I reached out to noah for some advice expecting at most an email. He kindly donated 1 hour of his time over a zoom call to just chat and help me out. If it hadn't have been for him and that time I would have quit that job and not have the position I have now.

So although he didn't know me from Adam that 1 hour really changed my life."

"I met Noah at a Ruby Kaigi (conference) in Japan. I hardly knew anyone there. Noah and Jonan Scheffler made me feel included and comfortable, and I was always grateful for that. Noah was a prime example of the superachiever who is humble and caring, so prevalent in the Ruby community. I always looked forward to meeting him again. I am sad that he is gone so early but grateful for the time he could be with us."

A photo submitted. It was taken at RailsConf 2019 by Olivier Lacan

"I met Noah several times at various Ruby and Rails conferences. At one of these events, he and I got into a passionate debate about how to teach programming and specifically Ruby. We continued the conversation through a couple of conferences and then eventually moved to email. We started to exchange notes and code samples to back up our positions. Eventually, he sent me an entire book, Rebuilding Rails, to which I replied with my book, Demystifying Rails. It turned out we agreed a lot more than we thought and our books, written concurrently, were quite aligned philosophically. In the end, we forgot where we even disagreed. I will remember Noah as a passionate and caring programmer, author, and educator. Debating with him was, for me, the definition of "iron sharpening iron". I will miss him."

"I met Noah in person for the first time at RubyConf 2018 in Los Angeles. He was the warmest, most welcoming human I've ever met at a conference. He and his friendly bear (I admire him so much for the bear) helped me meet people who I would have otherwise been too nervous to introduce myself to. Noah inspired me to be a more open, welcoming person through his strong example of being so himself.

Thank you, Noah, for all that you did for the world in your time. Krissy, my thoughts are with you and your family."

"Noah had a great singing voice and wasn't afraid to use it. In college any time I started singing a song (especially They Might Be Giants), I could count on him 100% of the time to join in a full-throated singalong. In the dorm, walking around campus, it didn't matter. He was always up for silliness and fun with friends.

Decades later, in our forties, he joined a couple of his friends on a road trip up the West Coast and of course we sang our hearts out. We stopped in a random town and saw a big rocky riverbank and decided to spend part of our afternoon skipping rocks. That was Noah's joyous spirit: "Oh, we're doing this silly thing now? I'm in!" No hesitation, no self-consciousness.

On the next road trip, we drove around Tennessee, rambling about programming, math, science, and philosophy. Then we got out to explore the beautiful geology of a deep gulch, and marveled at a 200-foot waterfall. Noah was the sort of friend who could challenge you in deep conversations on highly technical topics and then bring the same enthusiasm to climbing on rocks and shouting for you to come see a snail with a beautiful shell pattern."

"I went to CMU, but was two years behind Noah. The thing I remember most was seeing him frequently smiling in the undergrad computing labs in Wean. Sometimes he snuck in Mountain Dew, but always took it outside to drink. As a first year student, I was a little overwhelmed with the workload. Once, he assured me the work did get easier with time and experience, or at least less overwhelming.

It meant the world to me, and I treasure that discussion always."

"I met Noah at lunch at Railsconf several years ago when I was early in my career. We discussed different methods for people to learn and level up. Noah was very encouraging and incredibly nice, and emailed me a copy of his Rebuilding Rails book for free.

That gesture meant a great deal to me and helped me learn and grow into the software engineer I am today.

He embodied the kind, helpful, friendly nature of the rails community that I've enjoyed in all the years since."

"Noah was one of the pillars of Ruby community and one of the key reasons I got into programming and Ruby specifically. He was a joy to listen and talk to. He will be dearly missed My sincere condolences to his family."

"Noah was always so warm and friendly whenever I crossed paths with him. I always looked forward to seeing him. One of my favourite memories was hanging out with him and all of his family, and my mum, at the Batu Caves in Malaysia. He will be sorely missed and my love and thoughts go out to his family during this time. "

"I’m very sad to hear about the passing of Noah Gibbs.He was always so generous with his time and feedback"

"My heart will forever be scarred from losing Noah Gibbs too soon. I've met a lot of smart people and few of them could compare. None combined kindness, silliness, and brilliance in the way Noah did. Something I really loved about Noah was the way he was so consistently this way. We met at work and became friends, and over time I got to meet / join his family. This man adored his family with every shred of himself. It was clear as day to everyone who met them. He surrounded himself and his family with all sorts of people, from every walk of life, weaving a web of friendships that will outlast all of us.

Farewell my friend. I learned the path of kindness from you, and I will walk it the rest of my days in your remembrance "

"I must have first known Noah from either a Ruby/Rails podcast or reading some of his Codefolio blog. He had a unique way of teaching and communicating, a very soothing voice! I must've gotten his avatar memorized with him holding the pink teddy bear. I got to meet him in person at my first Ruby Conf 2019 in Nashville! Coming from Brazil it was awesome to see him in person. I was always excited to hear what he had to say. I believe the last podcast I listened with him was a conversation with Jason Swett. He'll be forever missed!"

"Noah loved going out with fellow Ruby friends to do conference karaoke. I remember one time we were in the same karaoke room. Noah picked song after song that nobody had heard of, belted them out, and had a great time despite being the only one singing. His kindness and enthusiasm for the Ruby community always impressed me and he will be sorely missed."

"I have so many wonderful memories of Noah, including his kindness and love of everything in life. He was joyful and generous and loved surrounding himself with people and sharing all the things he loved with them. And, when his love of something sparked a similar love in them, his exuberance was practically tangible. He was open minded and happy to discuss whatever it was I was curious about or wanted his opinion on, and he never once made me feel dumb or less than or even silly (unless we were being silly together). He was loving and creative and so funny. He was one of the smartest people I've ever known, a piece of magic, and proof that tenacity and determination paid off.

A particular favorite memory I have is when I saw him a few hours after he had wrapped up an interview process with Google back in 2004 or 2005. I don't remember if they had offered him the position yet or not, but he had a duffle bag full of swag they had given him. I think I said something about how cool it would be to work at Google, and he said it didn't matter, he wouldn't take it. I was shocked (I was 21 and barely making ends meet working in a call center doing customer service and the idea of turning down a job at Google was baffling to me) and asked why... And he laughed that Noah laugh and said it wasn't the kind of job he wanted; he preferred small startups. Noah knew what he wanted from life, and he went for it. If he didn't know how to get it or how to do something he needed to do to get what he wanted, he just learned."

"I've never met Noah, but I've listened to some of his talks and podcast interviews, and every time, I've walked away with new insights and lots to think about. I also read his book "Rebuilding Rails" and learned a ton from it.

So I just wanted to say that Noah has touched the lives of many people far and wide, more than we can know."

"I had a brief conversation with Noah after he gave a talk at Brighton ruby 2023. I knew Noah had a long career as a software developer, working at the big names in Rails and even part of the YJIT team, I found him quite intimidating and feel forever a noob. I introduced myself and asked about his teddy and some question about Rust Vs C for Ruby as I have only touched python and Ruby, not important. Though our talk was brief he seemed so glad to speak to me, I felt so welcomed. I forget the origin of the quote but he embodied "don't try to be cool, be warm"."

"Noah Gibbs was a brilliant computer scientist and respected by his colleagues across the world.

But what really set him apart was how deeply he cared about making people feel like they belonged.

The first time I saw him, I couldn’t help but ask about the bear. He smiled and said, “There are lots of old guys with long hair and beards at these things. I’m the one with a teddy bear.”

It was one way he made other people feel comfortable.

That was my impression of Noah - thoughtful, kind, and willing to stand out if it meant helping others feel at ease.

From that moment on, I looked forward to seeing him at every event.

He even asked me to be a guest on his computer science podcast once. I said no because, honestly, I was intimidated by how smart he was.

Looking back, I realize Noah saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. Despite my complete lack of formal education, Noah treated me like a peer.

He continually built up and elevated those around him, especially when they didn’t have a booming voice like his!

I will miss him, but I’m very grateful I knew him. He enriched my life and I’m sure he did the same for many, many others."

"Worked with him in the Scarpe Project. He was always so kind. Even though my questions were stupid, he listened and explained to me patiently."

"I have learned so much from his videos. They were funny, and so educational."

"I only met Noah briefly, once, at Brighton Ruby in 2022 but he has been one of a few shining lights and inspirations within the Ruby community who will be forever missed."

"I met Noah at the recent Haggis Ruby - he was welcoming and funny - seemed to know everyone!"

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I knew Noah on the internet for ages, and learned a lot from his posts and writing. I also talked to him about home education, as I home educate my son, too, and I enjoyed his personal blog writing about why you moved to Scotland -- particularly the bit about it raining and being quite magical that everything was green. I wanted to meet up at Brighton Ruby in some year or other, but he got covid at the last minute, and I remember being bummed because he was one of the main reasons for me going! Then I was lucky to finally meet him at Haggis Ruby this year where he was lovely and encouraging. I would have liked to know him better, but how marvelous to only meet someone once and still have such treasured memories -- a testament to his bright spirit and to the sort of person he was. Best wishes to you all."

"I didn't know Noah _that well_ - just from Twitter. But he once invited me to his podcast and so I had the privilege of talking to him for some time. What impressed me and stayed with me is just how much he liked to share and help. While not one of the more popular podcasts, it's probably my favorite podcast recording I ever did and that was because of him - it felt like he genuinely wanted to learn and know more and he also genuinely gave me pointers and told me about things and concepts he thought would be helpful to me. Not to show off, but to be helpful.

And if that's the core of his soul, which I suspect, then we've lost a great man.

I'm very sorry for your loss, and it is a loss for us all."

"I met him briefly last year at Brighton Ruby, he gave a talk and I had bought his books. We talked for 15-20 minutes and he encouraged me to keep learning (I'm trying to switch into the industry from a non tech background).

He shared a few thoughts about a career in tech and some aspirations of his for the future. It really left an impression in me. So sad to hear about this."

"Noah was a great teacher, I never meet him in person but through his book Rebuilding Rails I learnt a lot about Rails, he helped make the Ruby community better than he found it. Receive my condolences all the way from Kisumu, Kenya ."

"Noah and I went to CMU together. We started at the same time and shared several classes together in computer science.

In 2012 and 2013, he taught Ruby on Rails to my master students at CMU in Silicon Valley.

When he moved out of Mountain View, I lost touch with him but was surprised to see the number of people who knew him through his mentorship.

I wish I could think of a perfect story, but I am saddened by the news and for your loss."

"I met Noah freshman year at CMU - he lived across the hall in Donner Hall. He was kind, funny, and had a hearty laugh. And he was incredibly smart. It felt like we were all getting our feet wet while he was researching caustic rendering and building his Dec Alpha server (called Keep). I will fondly remember many late nights playing Doom, eating pizza, and laughing in the halls. Fare thee well, Noah"

"I didn't know Noah very well, but I hosted a book club on Rebuilding Rails, and reached out to him to see if he might offer a discount on the book, as we were a community full of independent learners wanting to boost our knowledge of Rails.

He was gracious and generous, and was happy to share something with us for Rebuilding Rails. Thank you, Noah!"

"I met Noah at RubyConf 2018, LA. He was the kindest man. We were standing in line to get into an after-party, and an unhoused person approached many people asking for money. Many people avoided making eye contact or said they had none. Not Noah. He whipped out his wallet, handed over a $20 bill, and said he hoped that helped. This made me want to be a person who helped, too, and I also helped donate money. He was the kind of person who didn't talk about being a better person, he was a better person, which made you want to be better too.

I am so sorry about his passing; he was someone I had always hoped to run into again."

"I am so sorry to hear about Noah’s passing. I met Noah for the first time in Japan in 2017. Noah was always so friendly and welcoming, and just such a lovely guy. I also live and the Uk but hasn’t managed to make it up to Scotland to see you all but we’d meet at conferences. I have a couple of photos of Noah and I at karaoke in Japan if you’d like them?"

""Rebuilding Rails" is the best software book I have read, and it helped me become a better engineer. Thank you Noah."

"Many years ago Noah and I happened to be speaking at the same Ruby conference. We knew each other in passing but had never exchanged more than a wave and a hello. The speakers dinner for this event was in the bar district of the city, and it was the weekend, so the streets and sidewalks were packed with loud drunk people. As a newly transitioning transgender woman, I was terrified of passing through that crowd. Noah had come up beside me, somehow read the situation, and gently said, "How about you walk with me?" He got me through that crowd, checked in on me throughout the night, and promised to walk me back to the hotel whenever I was ready to go back. This was the beginning of a long friendship. Noah soon became part of my private slack community, Lonely Hackers Club, which is a safe space for myself and a small circle of trusted friends. His kindness shone through even in that virtual space, and he always had a joke or an encouraging word for everyone. Honestly Noah was the kindest man I have ever known and I will always carry his memory in my heart."

"I was just telling this story the other day to friends of mine, before hearing the news: Noah took me to my first really fancy steakhouse, Ruth's Chris. I forget why, but I think he had just gotten some big fancy tech company job and we were friends at CMU and I told him I had never been out to a steakhouse. It was a great meal, my first great steak, and I was so grateful for his generosity. He was always a kind and thoughtful person, and I'm so sorry to hear of his passing."

"I still remember how much he guided and mentored me during Google Summer of Code 2024 on discord. Being a beginner in open source, he really helped in making my first contribution's experience, to project Scarpe of Ruby, really awesome. Really a helpful guy. I'll always be grateful and thankful for being mentored by him. RIP . My condolences "

"I briefly met him when we both started at Shopify on the same day, he was very friendly and offered to help me with some side projects I had. Even though we didn’t directly work together, he seemed like a great person to be around, very friendly"

"Noah and I both wrote books about Ruby and he was always so generous and helpful with his time and feedback. There was not a single time he would be too busy to offer advice. He certainly made my world a better place"

"I met Noah in-person briefly at Brighton Ruby and Haggis Ruby. He was always so generous with his wealth of knowledge, and also a very good human. His book Rebuilding Rails taught me so much about the framework that I’ve built a career around over the past ten years!

Gone too soon. I’m so sorry. My sincerest condolences to his family - I really enjoyed meeting his son in Edinburgh too! I hope you can take eventual comfort in the fact that the folks in the Ruby community loved Noah and the work he did over many years."

"(English is not my first language)

Hi, I'm a software developer from the Philippines. I don't personally know Noah, but I've always looked up to him as a veteran in the industry and a great educator.

As a learner, I'm aware about the online courses he has created. I haven't been able to take any of his courses yet, but I'm pretty confident that they're great materials!

From my perspective, Noah is such a huge loss, not only in the software industry in general, but also specifically to learners like me on the other side of the world who look up to him.

My condolences.."

"I met Noah at RubyConf 2017 in my hometown of New Orleans. I was just starting my career and didn’t personally know anyone at the conference. At a party at the aquarium, I grabbed a dinner plate and looked for a place to sit and Noah invited me to sit with him. He was extremely kind, intelligent, and easy to talk with. While we did not keep in touch, he left an extremely positive lasting impression with me."

"I remember Noah always being willing to share his vast knowledge and experience with me in a kind, humble, and graceful manner. He was a good dude, and someone we could all look up to."

"I remember Noah being on Remote Ruby back in either late 2018 or early 2019. At the time I was still working as a paramedic and learning Ruby, hoping to become a software developer.

I heard Noah talking about "YJIT", "C", and "compilers" , and while I did not understand most of it at the time, I remember being excited by everything he talked about. I think it was one of my earliest introductions to the world of compilers and C. It inspired me to keep building with Ruby and learning programming, and roughly 1 year later I got my first job. His appearance still sticks with me and still inspires me to dig into low level programming like C, compilers, and lots of other programming concepts. Noah was an excellent speaker, and while I never got to meet him in person, he sounded like a genuinely great person."

"I was thinking about writing a book where the reader would create Rails from scratch in order to learn about Ruby and web development. I realized that Noah had written this exact thing already and that it was really good. I wasn't going to make a better version. I told him this and held him in high regard."

"Noah and I met at a Ruby Central conference a year or so before the pandemic started. Either Minneapolis or Nashville. He was giving a workshop. We had lots of things in common: we were both speakers at the conference and both Rubyists, of course. But what we bonded over was the teddy bear that he carried around with him everywhere he went. I remember thinking, "This is a guy that I would like to be friends with." My first impression was that for a grown man to shamelessly (and lovingly) carry a teddy bear around, he must be whimsical in a way that I would appreciate. We also bonded over his experiences emigrating to Scotland, a place that I have long identified as my Soul Home. I was envious and wanted to hear about how he did it, so I could one day do the same. After the pandemic separated us by an ocean, we lost touch for a few years since presumably it was more difficult for him to get to the States for conferences. Recently, my husband Aji (another Rubyist who knew Noah) and I decided to finally get the process going to apply for the Global Talent visa for UK residency that he told us about. To navigate the intensely complex process of visa application, we reached out to Noah for questions and advice on how to get started. Even though we hung out at the one conference, and briefly interacted via social media over the year, he was generous with his time and knowledge in answering our (very basic) questions and offered lots of I-wish-I'd-known tips for both the visa process and moving abroad. We had put together a Trello board to keep ourselves organized and he didn't need to, but he went in and left comments on our cards to help direct us. While we didn't know him super well, we knew him enough to know that he was open and generous, and, I was right, whimsical to boot. We had been looking forward to living in the same gorgeous country and potentially going on Highland adventures with him and his family."

I'm eighteen years married today. It's been an amazing eighteen years. I've also been unemployed for six months. That sounds like a bad thing, but it means I've been spending more of my time and energy with Krissy than for a long time before that (whoof, having kids is a lot). It's less "this, too, shall pass" and more "right, back to the grind soon, but retirement will be really good".

Marrying you, dear, remains the best thing I've done in this life. You're my best friend, my partner, my other half. We haven't stopped growing with each other and challenging each other.

Here's to the next chapter, and many more years together. I love you and I choose you.